A selection of headlines from stories in the news. They use English in a way that you might think is intended to confuse but it's all perfectly clear to the native speaker.
This week we delve into the bizarre world of the very downmarket Sunday Sport with its headline: 'Wozza Dwarf In Cheese Theft Pub Brawl.'
This is a story about a 4ft 3in midget lookalike of the TV chef Antony Worrall Thompson, who was cautioned after getting into a fight over stolen cheese in a pub in Kirkcaldy, Fife only days after Thompson was also cautioned by police for stealing cheese from a Tesco store in Henley-on-Thames.
'Wozza' is the tabloid nickname for the TV chef, and it sounds like "Was a...".