Mysteries of Life
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would ever eat?
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not one in the freezer?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the taxi lane?
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- What do you call male ballerinas?
- If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
- If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if there is a "wet paint" sign somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
- Why do the alphabet song and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
- Why do they call it an 'asteroid' when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a 'hemorrhoid' when it's up your @*!?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
That last one has me foxed!