New Proverbs
- If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry, they'll be a mile way, barefoot and you'll have their shoes.
- Going to church doesn't make you a holy person any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
- My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
- Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
- It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
- I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite government programme.
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
- Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
- Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
- No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
