Hmm - You'd think that people who are paid to write could do better:-
- Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
- Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
- Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
- Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Teachers Strike Idle Kids
- Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
- Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Miners Refuse To Work After Death
- Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
- Stolen Painting Found By Tree
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
- Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
- Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
- War Dims Hope For Peace
- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
- Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
- New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group.
- Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire
- Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
- Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors