A selection of headlines from stories in the news. They use English in a way that you might think is intended to confuse but it's all perfectly clear to the native speaker.
BBC TV Match of the Day pundit Gary Lineker used to leave 'cheesy' love poems around the house for his wife Danielle but has now stopped because she's studying Shakespeare. He says they are no match for the world's most famous bard, hence the Daily Star headline 'Alas Poor Gary Lineker His Poems Are Bard' using 'Bard', which means a poet and is often used to describe Shakespeare, instead of 'Bad'.