Things that change after university
- 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
- You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
- You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
- You carry an umbrella.
- Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
- You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a club.
- Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
- You don't have mice living in your kitchen.
- Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
- You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
- Your friends marry and divorce instead of getting together and breaking-up.
- You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
- A £2 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
- You're the one calling the police because those bloody students next door won't turn down the music.
- You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
- You can't persuade your roommates to "Drink till dawn."
- You always know where you are when you wake up.
- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
- You feed your dog Eukeneba instead of McDonald"s.
- You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
- You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
