1. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
  2. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  3. You don’t volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
  4. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
  5. You carry an umbrella.
  6. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
  7. You don’t get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a club.
  8. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
  9. You don’t have mice living in your kitchen.
  10. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  11. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
  12. Your friends marry and divorce instead of getting together and breaking-up.
  13. You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
  14. A £2 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”
  15. You’re the one calling the police because those bloody students next door won’t turn down the music.
  16. You get out of bed in the morning even if it’s raining.
  17. You can’t persuade your roommates to “Drink till dawn.”
  18. You always know where you are when you wake up.
  19. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
  20. You feed your dog Eukeneba instead of McDonald”s.
  21. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
  22. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.