Dog names

A girl was visiting her boyfriend, who had got two new dogs.  She asked him what he was going to call them. He told her one was named Rolex and the other one Timex. Surprised she said, ‘Whoever heard of someone calling their dogs Rolex and Timex?’‘Think about it,’ answered her boyfriend, ‘They’re ‘watch’ dogs!’

Naming the baby

A pregnant woman is in a car accident and goes into a coma. After nearly six months, she wakes up to find that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, “Don’t worry, you had twins! We had to do a C-section, but you had a boy […]

And then the fight started…

Saturday morning I got up early, got dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out of the garage, only to realise it was chucking it down. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I drove back into the garage, turned on the radio, […]

Old Age #3

A man was telling his neighbour ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art …. It’s perfect.’ ‘Really,’ answered the neighbour. ‘What kind is it?’ ‘Twelve thirty..’

Where do you live?

A young man, wearing a hoodie, was stopped by the police. Policeman:  Where do you live? Young Man: With my parents. Policeman:  Where do your parents live? Young Man: With me. Policeman:  Where do you all live? Young Man: Together. Policeman:  Where is your house? Young Man: Next to my neighbour’s house. Policeman:  Where is […]