This is for Bedirhan on Disqus.
Evening all.
I'd like to tell you a story about when I was a very young boy. I must have been three or four months old at the time, and I didn't know what I wanted, but if I did, I wouldn't have known how to tell anybody, 'cos all I could do was gurgle. So I sat there in me [my] highchair, thinking one day, looking at me [my] tray and thinking what I'd give for a meal on there. So I started looking round the kitchen to see what I could have. I was rubbing me [my] eggy soldier in me [on my] head, trying to think, and then I looked over in the corner and there's a yellow and white breadbin with its mouth open, just staring at me, like. I saw bread in there.
I thought, I'll have - toast,
A little piece of toast.
Well, then I started getting older,
I hated this, I hated that,
Expensive state was ludicrous
And cafes couldn't cater for the finer things in life:
The upper crust was not for me,
I could tell that.
So I'd go home,
Switch the kitchen light on,
Put the grill on,
Slip a slice under -
And have toast,
A little piece of toast.
'Cos [Because] there's so much to choose from.
There's brown bread, white bread,
All sorts of wholemeal bread;
It comes in funny packages
With writing on the side,
But it doesn't matter which one you have
'Cos [Because] when you cut the crusts off,
Have it with marmalade
Or butter, cheese, tomatoes, beans,
Banana
Or chocolate if you're strange,
It doesn't really matter.
Oh no, it all goes with toast,
A little piece of toast.
I'm gonna think about it some...
That's toast,
Just toast,
That's toast,
Yeah!
Just toast.
So then Friday was me [my] day off,
I went down [to] the supermarket
With me [my] basket in me [my] hand,
I'm walking from one counter to another
Trying to find the bread stall,
But I can't find it anywhere
And then I bump [bumped] into a mother
With a baby in a basket
And she says
"Oh look, I come down here for a little bit of peace and quiet
To get some bread to go home to make toast,
Just toast,
I like toast"
Yeah, but I don't half like toast.
OK, scrape that toast, boys.
Ladies and gentlemen,
That's toast,
Yeah, just toast.
[Spoken]
I can't think about it any more. I've got to go and have some, it's no good.
Here listen, I'm getting a bit browned off standing here. Me too. Shall we go and have some toast?
See you.
Night all