This is supposedly an actual dialogue betweem a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee and a customer. Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."Support: "What sort of trouble?"Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away"Support: "Went away?"Customer: "They disappeared."Support: […]
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy […]
Ronnie Barker monologue: "Good evening. My name is Jimmy Dimwiddie. Now, I want to talk to you tonight about an important consumer organization called The Anti-Shoddy Goods Committee. Now the purpose of The Anti-Shoddy Goods Committee is to protect you from the crafty baddies that are selling goods that are grotty, dirty, dowdy, gaudy or […]
In promulgating your esoteric cogitations, or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable, philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communications possess a clarified conciseness, a compacted comprehensibleness, coalescent consistency, and a concatenated cogency. Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement, and asinine affectations. Let your extemporaneous descantings and unpremeditated expatiations […]
In today's lesson we read extracts from the story of Ruth Osborne. A woman who was suspected of being a witch and subsequently murdered in 1751. If you missed the lesson you can read the text here - Ruth Osborne.
The use of slang and bad grammar is to be monitored on the BBC's children's channel CBBC, after complaints about the amount of poor language used on air. Last year, an independent report into the channel criticised "crass" presentation and bad grammar. Examples of bad grammar included:- "ain't" "you was""What d'ya like best" and"What's ya […]