FISH and chips remains one of the favourite 'takeaway' meals in the UK but a call has been made to reduce portions to tackle waste and obesity (maybe waists).

The BBC tells us that JJ Food Service, which supplies more than 1,000 shops,suggests that all chip portions be cut by almost a third and an industry survey reckons 45% of customers want smaller chip portions. 36% would prefer a smaller fish portion, given the choice, to cut down on calories.

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A small town in Wales was engulfed with Elvis Presley lookalikes, says the Daily Mail.

Impersonators from around the world flooded to the UK for the Porthcawl Elvis Festival, one of the biggest of its kind in the world.

Over 20 venues in the town played host to tribute gigs and performances.

THE Daily Express relates the tale of distraught vegetable grower Dale Toten who spent nearly a year cultivating a giant cabbage only for a chef to hack it up and serve it to hotel guests just a week before it was due be shown at a competition.

Dale had nurtured the giant cabbage in his vegetable garden at the luxury hotel and restaurant Ston Easton Park in Somerset.

He was horrified to discover a large portion of the cabbage shredded and awaiting to be turned into confit of cabbage after being hacked off by an over-eager member of staff despite the fact that chefs had been briefed that they should steer well clear of Dale's prized giant varieties.

The hotel's operations director, Nick Romano, commented: “Dale nearly throttled the chef. He was very upset that morning. He was close to the point of tears.”

THE Daily Express tells us that an 'astronaut' has been discovered 50 days after plummeting back to Earth!

Major William Wilberforce was a teddy bear which was part of a primary school project and was found by Richard Thompson, ironically a former pupil at the Pocklington Prep School, in a barley field in Raywell, west of Hull.

Richard told the paper: “I spotted the little teddy bear and his parachute as I was about to go over it with the combine.

“When I read the labels and realised he was from my old school, it was quite a surprise."

Major William was blasted into space by pupils as a science educational project. He rose 22 miles above Earth beneath a helium weather balloon, before plummeting back down at an initial acceleration of 32 feet per second once the balloon had burst.

But because of a failure in his GPS tracking system, he lay unnoticed in Mr Thompson's field, which was 16 miles away from the launch site.

Major William lost a leg and had the stuffing knocked out of him during his ordeal but has now been patched up.

HERE'S another example of how dog-crazy we Brits are.

According to the Daily Star, Helen Turner (44) from Burnley in Lancashire, spent £4,000 for a first birthday party for her Chihuahua dogs Salvador and Purdy.

She hired a clown and the event also included face painting, three birthday cakes and even a dwarf.

Helen said: “I wanted to celebrate in style. I chose a Mexican theme because that’s where they originate from. I’d planned all the party games, booked señoritas to serve doggy canapes, planned out the decorations and ordered three cakes.”

APPARENTLY more and more of us want popular songs to be played at our funeral, says the Daily Express.

Research compiled by Co-op Funeralcare, who quizzed 300 funeral directors and 2,000 adults, showed that increasing numbers of people are drawing up their own playlists.

They compiled a funeral song chart which had Frank Sinatra's My Way at the top followed by Time To Say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman, and Over The Rainbow by Eva Cassidy.

Some of those questioned said that they wanted to "raise a laugh" so Monty Python's Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life is a regular choice as well as The Jam's Going Underground.