The Black Hole

DAN'S on the bus with Valbon heading to the Derbyshire market town of Ashbourne. They've taken the bus because they are going to watch the annual Shrovetide football match and parking will be difficult.

The Shrovetide football is played every year on Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesday but it's not proper football, not like Man U or Chelsea.

The Anchor

by Patrick O'Connor

IT was a bustling city centre despite the unseasonally chilly May air and clinging drizzle, with the usual shopping brands swamping both sides of the pedestrianised walkway.

Jet black steel and wooden benches were regularly placed along the route to provide weary shoppers with a momentary respite, waddling gluttonous pigeons in close attention.

Rover 25 1.6 SXi. 5dr Hatchback, 2004, blue, one extremely careful owner from new, ONLY 8,000 miles on the clock, yes that's correct, ONLY 8,000 miles on the clock, pristine condition, almost like brand new, for sale at the amazing, once-in-a-lifetime price of £1,200. Don't hang around, it won't be here long!!!!!

 THE room – well you could hardly call it a room, more like a cupboard – was a dump.

 The walls had been painted lime green, probably by someone doing community service for dealing mind-blowing drugs, the sink was clogged with some disgusting discharge.