A selection of headlines from stories in the news. They use English in a way that you might think is intended to confuse but it's all perfectly clear to the native speaker.

THE mouth-watering attraction of the Real Madrid versus Barcelona Champions League semi-final first leg will ensure that the normal parochial English football fans will be glued to their television screens this week.

For some, it will be an even greater attraction than Manchester United’s game at Schalke.

THE British have a reputation for being efficient and well-organised but don’t be fooled – we can cock it up as well as the rest of the world.

Take the idiots who run our football, for the past few years they’ve been doing their best to devalue the FA Cup, once the most prestigious knock-out tournament in the world.

ABOUT 10 days ago whilst waiting for the beginning of my team’s game against Cardiff City, I watched the last half-hour of the West Ham v Manchester United Premier League game on the concourse TV.

United, two down to the London side, fought back to win 4-2, displaying all the resilience, aggression and drive you’d expect of champions-elect.

IF you ever find that following your favourite football team becomes too depressing or even boring, then you could try and go ‘virtual’.  According to a report in The Sun Newspaper, the Manchester City defender Joleon Lescott try to get one over on Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney after Rooney’s spectacular goal won the Manchester derby.

I don’t think the powers that be who run Europe’s top football clubs have done themselves a favour by declaring that they are opposed to their players taking part in both the European Championships and the London Olympic Games in 2012.  The Olympic football event is for players aged under 23 and gets underway a month after Euro 2012 takes place in Poland and Ukraine.