OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN 1) Pull up to garage when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15 minutes later write a cheque and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. MONEY SPENT Oil Change £20.00 Coffee £1.00 TOTAL £21.00 OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN […]

SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find a husband who makes more money than she can spend.

OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

MONEY A man will pay €2 for a €1 item he wants. A woman will pay €1 for a €2 item that she doesn't want.

MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.