I have a favourite brother
And his Christian name is Paul.
He's lately joined a football club
For he's mad about football.
He's got two black eyes already
And teeth lost from his gob,
Since Paul became a member of
That terrible football club. 

For everyone at today's TGIF session (A nice example of I wish it could be and every day:- 

(Sound of tills ringing.)

When the snowman brings the snow
Well he just might like to know,
He's put a great big smile on somebody's face.
If you jump into your bed,
Quickly cover up your head,
Don't you lock the doors,
You know that sweet Santa Claus in on the way.

I'm wild again, beguiled again.
A simpering, whimpering child again.
Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I.

Post office clerks put up signs saying position closed,
And secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats,
And janitors padlock the gates 
For security guards to patrol, 
And bachelors phone up their friends for a drink 
While the married ones turn on a chat show.

And they'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow.

For anyone in TGIF - This is great for practising "will not" = won't, but it's not the most PC song in the world.   

Oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka)

In the bad backlands of Australia
Many years ago,
The aborigine tribes were meeting,
Having a big pow-wow.

Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings
Of the bluebird as she sings.
The six o'clock alarm would never ring.
But six rings and I rise,
Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.
My shavin' razor's cold and it stings.