My wife was looking in the bedroom mirror and saw her own reflection. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, 'Your eyesight's near perfect.' And then the fight started.

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first. 'I'll have the steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'No,' I replied, 'she can order for herself.' And then the fight started.

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we […]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive. so, I took her to a petrol station. And then the fight started.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for her birthday. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a set of bathroom scales. And then the fight started.

My wife sat next to me as I was flipping channels. 'What's on TV?,' she asked. 'Dust,' I replied. And then the fight started.