LOOKS Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

THE FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, put out the rubbish, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. !Note - There's a difference between to dress up and to get dressed.

CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a hotel towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.