What the bleep is going on?

This is a true story.



Anyone who runs a web site will be able to tell you how often they are attacked by viruses, trojans and worms. I am no exception, despite the fact that my sites are small, friendly and free to use I get my fair share of rubbish from the bored and boring.



So, imagine my despair this morning when I switched on my computer only to have it beep at me - not the friendly little "beep" I'm working and the world is a wonderful place, but a "beep - beep - beep" something's gone wrong kind of beep.

Now I obviously couldn't use the computer in its current state, so I switched on my husband's PC (now I'm in trouble) and entered the words "bleeping computer" and "beeping hard drive" into my trusty friend Google. I found some interesting solutions to my problems and decided to share them with you, just in case you are in the same boat one day. My attempts at following the instructions are in italics.

1. A constant beeping or a series of beeps usually indicates that something has gone awry with your system. Note the sequence of beeps and look at the description in the manual. - Where did I put the manual? Did I ever have a manual? Oh God I can't find the manual!
2. Check that all of your connections / cards / memory are seated correctly, it may be that something has worked it's way loose. - Crawled under the desk and prodded everything that is sticking out of the back of the computer - Blimey it's dusty down there!
3. A hard-drive making noises is a sure sign of imminent failure! If you can, I would strongly recommend you backup any important files on the disk ASAP! - But I can't use my computer! The sky is falling the sky is falling!
4. Could be the system overheating alarm. Go into BIOS and check your system and CPU temps and then look for the overheat alarm settings to see what temp the alarm is set to go off at. - Oh my God the computer is going to burst into flames at any moment! What's the number of the fire brigade in Germany?
5. Apparently, the virus will generate a beeping sound on affected computers between 6:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m. Tuesday. - Now here is something I understand! - I accessed the network via my husband's computer and started running my virus scanner remotely. It takes ages so time for a cup of coffee!

On returning to my computer the beeping had not stopped. Dissapointed I sat at my desk and looked at it. Hang on! What's that? There seems to be something wet and shiny on my keyboard! Ugh! It's there are green and furry bits in it! OMG!!!

Well folks after two and a half hours I had found the culprit. Unbeknown to me my cat had thrown up on my keyboard. The sticky mess of fur and grass were the contents of his stomach.

Suffice to say I have bought myself a new keyboard, with a cover. Anyone need a slightly used, slightly smelly keyboard? Or a cat?