Thanks to Peter for these amusing answering machine messages:-
- Hi. Now you say something."
- "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."
- "You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on,wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in,leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me...
- "You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a car boot sale in "as-is" condition. You can try leaving a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work."
- "Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?"
- "Hi! Dave's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
- "Hello, this is Dave's toaster. Dave's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)"
- "Hello, this is Lynne's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone."
- "Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need new windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
- "Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Dave, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynne, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way towork off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a professional phone system."
- "(Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. Ifyou want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and B-E-E-P!"
- "This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
- "Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it."
- "Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
- "Dave here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak to I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?"
- "Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Joseph, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't."
- "(Deadpan voice:) Hi, This is Dave. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone."
- "Hi, this is Lynne. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
- "Hello, this is Dave. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?"
- "We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."
- "I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. So please leave a message after the tone. "
- "I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don't leave a message after the tone, you might have to deal with me in person."
- "This is Dave. Leave me a message and tell me what I can do to... I mean, do FOR you."
Related
Its better to use phone answering service is great service for reducing the business time and grow the business. this is effective service for small and large size program.