Customer: “Hello, yes, it’s me.”
Tech Support: “Oh, it’s me too.” [chuckle]
Customer: “No, Esmie. E, s, m, i, e.”
Tech Support: “Oh, sorry.” [blush]
———————————-
Tech Support: “Would you right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
Tech Support: “Did you type ‘click’ with the keyboard?”
Customer: “I’ve done something dumb, right?”
———————————-
Customer: “One of my friends gave me an ImageWriter printer and a keyboard. He said he gave me all the cables, but I can’t figure out how to connect them. Am I missing something?”
Tech Support: “Well, a computer would help.”
Customer: “You mean this keyboard isn’t a word processor?”
Tech Support: “No ma’am, its just an input device.”
Customer: “Then I need to buy a computer, right?”
Tech Support: “Yes.”
Customer: “Do you think I’ll need a monitor, too?”
———————————-
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy a virus.”
Tech Support: “Ummm. You really don’t want a virus on your computer. What you need is anti-virus software.”
Customer: “No, my son told me I need a virus, and that’s what I’d like.”
Tech Support: “No worries. You don’t need to buy a virus — you can just connect to the internet and download one.”
———————————-
Customer: “I’d like to buy the Internet. Do you know how much it is?”
———————————-
Customer: “I have a question about the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ok, what’s your question?”
Customer: “How do I unsubscribe from a BBS?”
Tech Support: “Uh, well, you should probably contact the people that run it.”
Customer: “Well who owns the Internet?”
———————————-
Customer: “So that’ll get me connected to the Internet, right?”
Tech Support: “Yeah.”
Customer: “And that’s the latest version of the Internet, right?”
Tech Support: “Uhh…uh…uh…yeah.”
———————————-
Tech Support: “All right. Now click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “Click ‘OK’?”
Tech Support: “Yes, click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “Click ‘OK’?”
Tech Support: “That’s right. Click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “So I click ‘OK’, right?”
Tech Support: “Right. Click ‘OK’.”
…
Customer: “I clicked ‘Cancel’.”
Tech Support: “YOU CLICKED ‘CANCEL’???”
Customer: “That’s what I was supposed to do, right?”
Tech Support: “No, you were supposed to click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “I thought you said to click ‘Cancel’.”
Tech Support: “NO. I said to click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “Oh.”
Tech Support: “Now we have to start over.”
Customer: “Why?”
Tech Support: “Because you clicked ‘Cancel’.”
Customer: “Wasn’t I supposed to click ‘Cancel’?”
Tech Support: “No. Forget that. Let’s start from the top.”
Customer: “Ok.”