1. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
2. The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.
3. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
4. If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
5. If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.
6. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
7. Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
8. I intend to live forever. So far so good.
9. Who is “General Failure” and why is he reading my hard disk?
10. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?