Here’s a little clarification of corporate lingo.
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress well.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
We have no quality control.
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
APPLY IN PERSON:
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
We’ve actually filled the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You’ll need it to replace the three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you, figure out what they actually want you to do.