Artery: The study of fine paintings.

Bacteria: Back door to the cafeteria.

Barium: What to do if CPR fails.

Benign: What you are after you be 8.

Cesarean Section: Some place in Rome.

CATscan: Looking for kitty.

Cauterize: Got that pretty girl to look at you.

Colic: A sheep dog.

Coma: A punctuation mark.

D & C: Where Washington is.

Dilate: To live long.

Enema: Not your friend.

Fester: Quicker.

Fibula: A small lie.

G.I. Series: Baseball games between teams of soldiers.

Hangnail: What you hang your coat on.

Impotent: Distinguished, well known

Labour Pain: Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff: A Doctor’s walking stick.

Morbid: A higher offer on eBay.

Nitrates: Lower than day rates.

Node: Was aware of.

Outpatient: A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear: A lie about someone’s father.

Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative: A postman.

Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.

Rectum: Nearly killed them.

Secretion: Hiding something.

Seizure: Roman emperor.

Tablet: A small table.

Terminal Illness: A sick computer.

Tumour: More than one.

Urine: Opposite of you’re out.

Varicose Vein: Veins that are very close together.

Thanks to James