Halloween Jokes

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Here is a selection of “ghostly” jokes (click on Read More).

What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
Watch the board and I’ll go through it again!

What is a ghost’s favourite day of the week?

How do ghosts keep fit?
By regular exorcise!

Who is the most important member of the ghost’s football team?
The ghoulie!

How do ghosts like their eggs cooked?

Where do Australian ghosts go on holiday?
Lake Eerie!

What did the polite ghost say to her son?
Don’t spook until your spooken to!

What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres?
Surgical spirits!

What kind of jewels to ghosts wear?

What is a ghost’s favourite desert?
Knickerbocker ghouly!

Where do ghosts live?
In a terrortory!

What do you call a prehistoric ghost?
A terror-dactyl!

How do you know that you are talking to a undertaker?
By his grave manner!

How do you know if your being haunted by a parrot?
He keeps going “Booo’s a pretty boy then” !

How do ghosts like their drinks?
Ice ghoul!

Where do ghosts get an education?
High sghoul!

What do ghosts eat for dinner?

What airline do ghouls fly with?
British Scareways!

What kind of ghost has the best hearing?
The eeriest!

What do ghosts yell when a female footballer is sent off?
Ban-she Ban-she!

What is a ghost proof cycle?
One with no spooks in it!

Why did the car stop when it saw a ghost?
It had a nervous breakdown!

Where do ghost trains stop?
At devil crossings!

Why did the ghost go to the funfair?
He wanted to go on a rollerghoste and the ghost train!

What do ghosts have in the seats of their cars?
Sheet belts!

How do ghosts learn songs?
They read the sheet music!

What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar?
The bartender said “Sorry sir, we don’t serve spirits here”!

Where do ghosts live?
In dread-sitters!

What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains?
Boo-ts and ghoul-oshes!

Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?
Because you can see right through them!

Who writes ghosts jokes?
Crypt writers!

What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end!

What do ghosts dance to?
Soul music!

Where do ghosts go on holiday?
The Ghosta Brava!

What happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over.

What do young ghosts write their homework in?
Exorcise books!

What keeps ghosts happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!

What do ghouls do when they’re in hospital?
They talk about their apparitions!

What do you call a ghost’s mother and father?

How did the singing ghost become famous?
By appearing in a television spooktaculars!

What trees do ghosts like best?

What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?
A boo-loney sandwich!


More English jokes here