Before and after marriage

Before - You take my breath away.
After - You're suffocating me!

Before - Twice a night.
After - Twice a month.

Before - She loves the way I take control of a situation.
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.

Before - Saturday Night Live.
After - Sunday night football.

Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars.
After - If I had a penny for every stupid thing he's done...

Before - Don't Stop.
After - Don't Start.

Before - The Sound of Music.
After - The Sound of Silence.

Before - Is that all you are eating?
After - Maybe you should just have a salad.

Before - Game for a Laugh.
After - The Weakest Link.

Before - It's like living a dream.
After - It's a nightmare.

Before - £12 /dozen.
After - £1.50 / stem.

Before - Turbocharged.
After - Needs a jump-start.

Before - We agree on everything!
After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before - Victoria's Secret.
After - Fruit of the Loom.

Before - Feathers & handcuffs.
After - Ball and chain.

Before - Idol.
After - Idle.

Before - He's lost without me.
After - Why can't he just ask for directions?

Before - When we're together, time stands still.
After - This relationship is going nowhere.

Before - Croissant and cappuccino.
After - Toast and instant coffee.

Before - Oysters.
After - Fish fingers.

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other.
After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?

Before - Romeo and Juliet.
After - Punch and Judy.