A selection of headlines from stories in the news.They use English in a way that you might think is intended to confuse but it's all perfectly clear to the native speaker.
The Daily Mirror made a play of a very common piece of English slang with the headline 'Priest as a Newt'. The story is about a Roman Catholic priest, Bede Rowe, who failed to show up for mass at St George's Church in Warminster, Wiltshire because he had been locked up after being arrested on a drink-driving charge.
The headline is a variation on the phrase 'pissed as a newt' which means very, very drunk.