Neanderthals died out about 35,000 years ago, but they may have interbred with Homo Sapiens, so do your ancestors include their genetic markers? Try this test to find out:-

  1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself five points.
  2. Can you lock your knees in an upright position? If not, add five points.
  3. Have you got a chin? If the answer is no, add five points.
  4. How about a forehead? If not, add another five points.
  5. Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head?  Give yourself five points.
  6. Do you ever open beer bottles with your teeth? If you do add ten points.
  7. Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than sitting in a chair? Have another five points.
  8. Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, add one point for every five degrees of slope.
  9. Are you less than five feet tall? Add one point for every inch under.
  10. Are you pgeon-toed? Add five points.
  11. Have you ever felt like bashing a traffic warden with a club? You’re normal–no points.
  12. Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to hold an apple? Add ten points.
  13. Do you regularly eat apples in this way? Add twenty points.
  14. Do people think you’re wearing your hair in a bun when you’re not? Give yourself ten points.
  15. Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an overcoat?  Add five more points.
  16. Is your nickname Duke, Butch, or Animal? Three points.

0-15 points: You are a virtually pure Homo sapiens. Feel free to build bridges, compose symphonies, and overrun the world.
16 -35 points: A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will occasionally have spells of primitive behavior, crawling around on all fours and whooping wildly. If you live in England, no one will notice.
36-50 points: You can still function quite well in the modern world, but avoid eating in fancy restaurants lest your table manners give you away.
51-70 points: Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant. You should consider a career as a rugby player.
71-100 points: Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is completely Neanderthal. There is no place for you in human society. Try running for parliament instead.