Less than flattering things to say to your loved one:-

Your teeth are like stars: They come out at night.

You have a soft heart: And head to match.

Your eyes are like the sea: They make me sick.

Her hair has waves like the sea: The dead sea.

Your ears are like flowers: Cauliflowers.

You have a heart of gold: And teeth to match.

When I look into your eyes: I see the back of your head.

Brains aren’t everything: In your case they’re nothing!

You have a mind like a steel trap: Always closed!

He has a nose like a bloodhound: Constantly dripping.

Your eyes are like pools: Cess pools.

Your eyes are like pools: The football pools.

Your skin is so soft: Like mold on an orange.

You have a twinkle in your eyes: The sun shining between your ears.

Your lips are like petals: Bicycle pedals.