I am the very model of a modern major-general,
I've information vegetable, animal and mineral,
I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical,
From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem, I'm teeming with a lot o' news --
A lot o' news -- Got it!
*With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
Repeat*
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous,
*In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general.
Repeat*
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser* rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "Commissariat" --
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery,
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
*You'll say a better major-general has never sat agee.
Repeat*
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century.
*But still, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general.
Repeat*