The top 10 excuses given to TV Licensing by people who should have a TV licence: 
  1. “Since I had a bit of a fling with the postman I haven’t been receiving my mail so I didn’t get my TV licence reminder.” 
  2. “No-one watches TV apart from the parakeet. It calms him down and stops him ripping out his feathers.” 
  3. “I went to the PayPoint to pay for my licence, but I had to leave before I could pay as my kids were stealing sweets and I had to get them out fast.” 
  4. “My Payment Card fell in the toaster so I had to iron it and now the PayPoint machine won’t accept it.”
  5. “I can’t afford a TV licence now as the repayments on my brand new car are cleaning me out!”
  6. “I never got the reminders because my two-year-old hides all my post in her toy box”
  7. “I would have to sell my TV to pay for a licence so I can’t do that.”
  8. “I don’t need a TV licence, I already pay for my electricity bill.” 
  9. “I’m getting married and am too busy picking flowers, colours and things to buy a TV licence.”
  10. “I cannot go out to buy a licence because I am allergic to the sun.”
Here are some new ones from 2013:-
  1. “Why would I need a TV licence for a TV I stole? Nobody knows I’ve got it.”
  2. “I have lost weight recently and had to buy new clothes. That’s why I could not afford to buy a TV licence.” 
  3. “Apparently my dog, which is a corgi, was related to the Queen’s dog so I didn’t think I needed a TV licence.” 
  4. “I don’t want to pay for a licence for a full year. Knowing my luck I’ll be dead in six months and won’t get value for money.”
  5. “I could not pay for my TV licence because the Olympic torch was coming down my road and I could not get to the shop as the road was too busy.” London.
  6. “I only use my TV as a lamp. If you switch it on it gives a good glow which allows me to read my book.” 
  7. “Only my three-year-old son watches the TV. Can you take it out of the family allowance I receive for him? He watches it so he should pay.” 
  8. “I got caught shoplifting so I’m barred from the shop that takes PayPoint payments.”