Sledging is what cricketers call the mocking insults swapped between players out at the wicket. It has long been part of the game, but you might be surprised at how ungentlemanly these bastions of sport can be.
- Shaun Pollock to Ricky Ponting: “It’s red, it’s round and weighs about five ounces.” Ponting hit the next ball out of the ground. He jibed, “You know what it looks like, go and find it.”
- Rod Marsh to Ian Botham: “So how’s your wife & my kids?”
Botham replied: “The wife’s fine. The kids are retarded.”
- Fred Truman to incoming Aussie batsman as he opened the gate on his way out to the middle at Lord’s: “Don’t bother shutting it, son, you won’t be there long enough.”
- Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. “Looks like you spent it eating,”Cullinan retorted.
- Merv Hughes to Robin Smith: “Mate, you can’t bat.” Naturally, Smith despatched the next ball for four and responded, “Hey Merv, we’d make a fine pair. I can’t bat and you can’t bowl.”
- Merv Hughes to Graeme Hick: “Mate, if you just turn the bat over, you’ll find the instructions on the other side.”
- Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): “Hey Eddo, why are you so fat?”
Eddo Brandes: “Because everytime I make love to your wife, she throws me a biscuit.”
- Eric Morecambe to Dennis Lillee:Are you aware, sir, that the last time I saw anything like that on a top lip, the whole herd had to be destroyed?
- Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: “Tickets please”, Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
- Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn’t say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries.
“This is my island, my culture. Don’t you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl.” Merv didn’t reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: “In my culture we just say [eff off].”
- James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh……. MW : [eff me], look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there’s no way you’re good enough to play for England”
JO : “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family.”
- Yet another Australian witticism with this time overweight Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga was the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian piped up, “Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it.”
- Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times.
Marshall : “Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?”
- Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, right between Raman Subba Row’s legs. Fred doesn’t say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. “I should’ve kept my legs together, Fred”. “So should your mother” he replied.