Staying on a sport’s theme, for those not familiar with Dennis Commetti, he is an Aussie Rules football commentator. This is why he is considered to be the best in the business

“Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they’re playing My Sharona …”

“Farmer may have an injury to his calf … hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem …”

“Spider had both his legs taken out from under him – leaving only the other six to balance on …”

“Ball to Barker to Barlow – The Hawks are attacking alphabetically”

On Melbourne ‘s Adam Yze: “A terrific player . . . terrible scrabble hand.”

“Ling’s running off the ground a little bit gingerly.”

“Cousins, runs away from Carr … not the first time we’ve seen that this season.”

On Cameron Cloke (who was timing his ruck jumps badly), “Cloke leaves his messages before the beep.”

“Hay is bailed up on the boundary line . . .”  [Hay + bale – get it?]

“Walker to Carr . . . that’s a step up . . .”

“He’s made a typo! – he wanted Bickley and he’s got Buckley!”

“The Magpies ought to be kicking themselves right now, but with their luck, they’d probably miss.”

After Darren Gaspar hits the post from 40 metres out: “Gaspar……the unfriendly post.”  [Casper the friendly ghost – get it?]

“Ashley McIntosh………like a good hair spray… capable of a subtle hold.”

“Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really Lamb should be in the sandwich.”

On former Magpie, Crow and now Cat, Brenton Sanderson: “He goes much better as a mammal.”

Freo v Port Adelaide. Josh Carr wearing 9 for Port crunches his brother Matthew, wearing 9 for Freo.
“How’s that, a two Carr collision, both with the same rego!”

Daniel Metropolis playing for the Eagles was gang tackled by 3 opposition players. “Now there’s a city under siege”

Collingwood 40-points up against the Dogs. The camera focuses on Bulldog president David Smorgon looking despondent. “Now there’s a glum dog millionaire.”  [Slum dog millionaire – get it?]

Thanks to James