Two old-age pensioners were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: ‘Tom, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’

Tom said, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’

‘Really? Like a newborn baby?’

‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’