Some of the daft things British dads say:-

  1. Do you think I’m made of money?
  2. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
  3. Do I look like a bank?
  4. He’s thick as two short planks.
  5. When I was your age …
  6. Back in my day…
  7. We used to go outside to play.
  8. I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.
  9. I’m not going to tell you again.
  10. Were you raised in a barn?
  11. Don’t talk back to your mother.
  12. If you were told to jump off a cliff / bridge, would you?
  13. If your friends stuck their head in the oven, would you?
  14. They don’t make them like they used to.
  15. Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!
  16. Don’t tell your mother.
  17. Ask your mother.
  18. Waste not, want not.
  19. You’re not going out in that!
  20. We were grateful to have an orange for Christmas.
  21. Now, don’t go spending a lot on me.
  22. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
  23. Hard work never killed anybody.
  24. You’ll understand when you’re older.
  25. You don’t know you’re born.
  26. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.
  27. You’re grounded!
  28. Go to your room!
  29. NOW!!!