News Round Up
by Patrick O'Connor
WHAT! No marmalade!
Dreadful news in the Daily Mail, that most traditional of British fruit preserve, marmalade is on the decline.
They quote a report in trade magazine The Grocer which says that marmalade continues to fall out of favour as the nation's choice of breakfast spread.
Latest sales figures show that demand has again dropped as shoppers prefer honey, jam or peanut butter for their morning toast.
Oh I say!
The Daily Mirror reports that a woman is planning to set up the first brothel exclusively for the disabled.
They quote Becky Adams as saying that Para Doxies – named after an old word for prostitute – will be non-profit-making and fitted with ramps and hoists.
Becky commented: “People have the same sexual urges if they’re disabled or not – everyone deserves to experience and enjoy sexual contact.
“A soldier who comes home disabled doesn’t stop being a normal, healthy person with normal, healthy needs. For many, disability can get in the way of fulfilling those needs. It can be very frustrating and painful.”
She is planning to open up in Milton Keynes next year.
Be wary of eating at banana at the BBC.
The Daily Telegraph claims that posters have been put up at the corporation's Broadcasting House premises showing a banana with a large cross through it because it is feared one member of staff could suffer an unpleasant allergic reaction if she comes into contact with a banana.
A 'banana-free zone' has been put in place in “specific areas of the newsroom”, where staff have been warned unpeeling or eating the fruit at their desks could cause problems.
A BBC spokesman said the ban was not imposed by the corporation, but issued by members of staff concerned for their colleague’s welfare.
It is believed she suffers from an allergy to bananas which can lead to "severe symptoms" but is not fatal.
Newt alert!
According to The Independent, work on a new shopping centre in York has been held up because of
a rapidly increasing population of breeding newts.
The £90m Monks Cross development was planned to open next Christmas but has been delayed until Easter in 2014 because the population of great crested newts has grown by more than 3,000 per cent, from nine to 300, in December.
They will have to be individually caught and re-homed in a nearby wetland habitat before building work can start, because newts are protected under Natural England guidelines.
Ducks and geese are in the news at the moment as well with the Daily Telegraph reporting that they are being harmed by over-indulging in white bread, with experts warning it could leave them "bulked out", undernourished and struggling to fly away from predators.
Experts have now warned the public to be mindful of how they feed the bird
Grahame Madge, of the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, said: “Feeding ducks on the park pond or geese and swans on rivers has become a long-established favourite pastime for many people, especially parents with young children.
"It is an excellent way for the public to have contact with birdlife and for toddlers to learn to appreciate ducks, geese and swans later in life. But feeding bread, or we've often seen chips, to birds can lead to them developing health problems. Birds that are unhealthy are more susceptible to predation.”
It's the fur brigade!
Firemen came out in force in resident to help a distressed individual. Three engines and at least seven firefighters with two ladders turned out to rescue – a squirrel!
The Daily Mirror story (together with that clever headline) revealed that the grey squirrel had become stranded in a pond yards from shops. It couldn’t climb back up the steep walls and took refuge on a clump of rocks.
The first crew put a ladder on to the island so the animal could crawl along it and one fireman got into the water to help it along. The squirrel doggy-paddled to the ladder, before climbing the rungs and jumping on to dry land.
Being neighbourly – not!
The Sun tells us that two neighbours have wracked up a £40,000 bill in a legal bust-up over a wheelie bin.
Apparently Liaquat Ali refused to shift the bin from the drive their semis share in Edgware, north west London. Then his neighbour Igbal Suleman complained it blocked his van and lawyers got involved.
A judge ruled that neither could leave their bins in the drive and now the pair are squabbling over who should pay the legal costs.
Footballer Marvin Sordell is receiving special help from his club to deal with his addiction to... Twitter and Facebook.
Twenty one year Marvin Sordell, who plays for Championship club Bolton Wanderers, has 24,300 followers on Twitter but his manager Dougie Freedman has revealed that the England Under-21 striker has developed an 'obsession' with social networking sites.
Freedman told The Sun: “He’s got small issues off the field with his tweeting. It could be bordering on an obsession, so we’re trying to work with him.”
References:
The Independent (www.independent.co.uk)
Daily Mail (www.dailymail.co.uk)
Daily Mirror ((www.mirror.co.uk)
The Sun (www.thesun.co.uk)
Daily Telegraph (www.telegraph co.uk)