News Round Up 32

News Round Up

by Patrick O’Connor


WELLINGTON, a two year old St Bernard dog, is literally in the dog house!

For his owner, Julian Kite, has built a kennel which is a one third replica on his own three-bedroomed detached house in Swadlincote, Derbyshire, reports the Daily Mail.

The kennel comes complete with carpets, working lights and insulated walls and also has a gravel drive complete with patio stepping stones and ceramic statues. It stands 6.5 ft high and also has glossed skirting boards and a slate roof.

And all Julian’s hard work has paid off after he was awarded a £1,000 prize in a national competition to find Britain’s grandest dog home.

A parrot has been hailed a hero by The Sun after it saved the life of his teenage owner.

Cookie the cockatiel repeatedly dive-bombed 17 year old Ben Rees to warn him about a house fire whilst the youth was having a shower.

Cookie squawked and swooped on Ben who then tried to tackle the fire before eventually being forced to battle through smoke to escape.

Unfortunately although firemen stopped the house in Llanelli, South Wales, from burning down, Cookie died in the flames.

Ben’s mother Vicky said: “He was Ben’s guardian angel and died a hero. If Cookie hadn’t squawked like that I’m sure Ben would have died too.”

Police in Devon had to resort to using a taser to bring down – a male sheep!

A Daily Mirror story revealed that the animal was ‘ram-raiding’ motorists on the busy A30 near Okehampton.

A police spokesman said: “Officers attended and after trying various other methods were unable to contain the ram and prevent it from running into the carriageway, which it did on three separate occasions causing a danger. Taser was subsequently deployed, successfully securing the ram.”

Another animal story in the Mirror reveals that two suspected dognappers were arrested after a pet spaniel was snatched and ransomed for £500 in Mottisfont, Hampshire.

Apparently police are experiencing a surge in cocker spaniel thefts which are believed to have been sparked by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge adopting a black puppy called Lupo.

Hats off to 92 year old Winifred Turner who, according to The Sun, has become the oldest woman in Britain to get a tattoo.

Winifred, from West Moors, Dorset, said: “When I went in to get it done the tattooist told me I was 30 years older than the oldest person he had ever tattooed. I think I could get carried away with it. There’s no pain in my opinion, but it is a bit sore when they go over the same spot.”

He’s one of the world’s top professional cyclists but now Tour De France champion Bradley Wiggins has been acclaimed as a comic.

The Daily Star says the 32 year old has been voted Britain’s wittiest celebrity in a poll promoting TV channel Dave’s Leicester Comedy Festival.

Bah humbug!

According to The Sun, hundreds of people who played Santas and elves in shopping centre grottos last Christmas may not be paid.

Melbry Events. which was set up by Dragons’ Den contestant Melanie Hurley, has gone bust.

Eve Gilliland, of Woolwich, South East London, who worked as an elf at grottos in Nottingham and Milton Keynes, Bucks, said: “It’s gutting. We worked really long hours. The grottos must have taken a fortune. What happened to the cash?”

A spokesman said the firm planned to go into creditors’ voluntary liquidation.

Fancy a romantic weekend?

Then it’s probably best not to visit the Lincolnshire town of Scunthorpe, which says the Mirror, has just been declared the least romantic place in Britain.

A poll by claimed the town is the last place people would consider for a naughty weekend away with a partner.

Not so naughty goings on at a ‘ladies night’ event at the Baltic Inn in Pontyates, near Llanelli, South Wales.

When over 150 women turned up for the night, they expected to see ‘ tanned muscular stripper Fabio strutting his stuff on the stage,’ said the Daily Telegraph.

But it turned out that Fabio had been forced to pull out and had been replaced by ‘scruffy’ novice Leon Zbudowskyj, wearing grey tracksuit trousers and braces.

Compere Debra Jones said: “He didn’t have a six pack. He was diabolical, he was disgusting, he just didn’t have anything, no music, no dance routine. He just wasn’t the sort of person you wanted to see take their kit off.”

Not surprisingly the punters were not impressed and eventually police were called to break up a large brawl.

Life can be cruel and it certainly was for 69 year old Esme Arbous, from Ruislip, North West London, who thought her dreams were about to come true when she found a winning number eight on a Lotto scratch card

But, reports the Mirror, Lotto officials revealed the blurred printing actually showed a number three and the confusion was caused by a watermark.

Her only consolation was that the card won Esme just £2!



Daily Mail (

Daily Mirror ((

Daily Star (www.daily

The Sun (

Daily Telegraph (www.telegraph




I am a director of the Learn English Network. A non-profit organisation registered in the UK dedicated to helping people learning English and people who teach English online.

Learn English 2020