Watch the video and then scroll down for the transcript and watch it again – and again if you feel you need to.
Scroll for transcript (edited from YouTube’s own automatic caption creator:-
Following today’s press conference in which NASA announced its continuing search for a planet capable of supporting NASA, researcher Doctor Kenneth Haiser sat down with Onion reporters to detail their ongoing mission to find a NASA habitable planet.
“Well we did locate a planet approximately sixty light years away that we felt could provide an adequate level of funding for our research, but our analysis show that the air was in fact toxic, and would kill every NASA employee in well under thirty seconds. The important thing is we just need to be patient, there’s a limitless number of planets in the universe and eventually we will find one with the resources to support our work.We just have to! Right?”
