1. Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
2. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he/she finishes college.
3. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's gender?
A. Childbirth.
4. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's the question?
5. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
6. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out that you're pregnant.
7. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
8. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A Yes, another pregnancy.
9. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
10. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.