A police constable pulls a driver over for speeding:

Constable: May I see your driver’s license?

Driver: I don’t have one. It was suspended when I got caught over the limit.


Constable: Well then, may I see the papers for this vehicle?

Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.

Constable: The car is stolen?

Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the papers in the glove box as I was putting my gun in there.

Constable: There’s a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the person who owns this car and stuffed the body in the boot.

Constable: There’s a BODY in the BOOT?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the constable immediately calls for an armed response unit.  The car was quickly surrounded by police, and an inspector approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Inspector: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Certainly. Here it is.

The license is valid.

Inspector: Whose car is this?

Driver: It’s mine. Here are the papers.

The papers are in order.

Inspector: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

There’s no gun in the glove box.

Inspector: Would you mind opening the boot. I was told there’s a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

The boot is empty.

Inspector: I don’t understand it. The constable who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the boot.

Driver: Yeah, and I’ll bet the big, fat liar told you I was speeding too.

More English jokes here