A selection of headlines from stories in the news. They use English in a way that you might think is intended to confuse but it's all perfectly clear to the native speaker.
This Sun story was about TV star Anthony McPartlin, of Ant and Dec fame, who rushed to hospital after chopping off the tip of his thumb whilst cooking dinner for his co-star. He took the bit of thumb with him hoping that they would be able to stitch it back on, but no joy. So the Sun kindly alters the famous phrase, "Let's get ready to rumble", which means let's get ready to fight, and replaces rumble with fumble, which means to handle something clumsily.