Assembler: First, it builds the road ……

C: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++: Wouldn’t have to cross the road, you’ d simply refer to him on the other side.

COBOL: 0001-COMPUTER-CROSSING.Why did the Computer Cross the Road?

Cray: Crosses faster than any other computer, but if you don’t dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.

Delphi: The computer is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Gopher: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web browser.

Intel Pentium: The computer crossed 4.9999978 times.

Iomega: The computer should have ‘ backed up’ before crossing.

Java: If your road needs to be crossed by a computer, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are tablets.)  See also WMI Monitor.

Linux: Don’t you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac: No reasonable computer owner would want a computer to cross the road, so there’s no way to tell it how to cross the road.

Newton Chicken: Can’t cluck, can’t fly, and can’t lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.

OOP: It doesn’t need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

OS/2: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Microsoft: It’s already on both sides of the road. What’s more it’s just bought the road.

NT: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

Quantum Logic: The computer is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

VB: USHighways! (aComputer)

XP Computer Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Longhorn had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.

Windows 7 – Gave up half way across.

Windows 8 – Waiting for Windows 7 to finish crossing.

Android – Is rolling up the road.

The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.