Assembler: First, it builds the road ......
C: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++: Wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL: 0001-COMPUTER-CROSSING.Why did the Computer Cross the Road?
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-COMPUTER-CROSSING
Cray: Crosses faster than any other computer, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.
Delphi: The computer is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Gopher: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web browser.
Intel Pentium: The computer crossed 4.9999978 times.
Iomega: The computer should have ' backed up' before crossing.
Java: If your road needs to be crossed by a computer, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are tablets.) See also WMI Monitor.
Linux: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac: No reasonable computer owner would want a computer to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.
Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.
OOP: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
OS/2: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Microsoft: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more it's just bought the road.
NT: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
Quantum Logic: The computer is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VB: USHighways!
XP Computer Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
Longhorn had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.
Windows 7 - Gave up half way across.
Windows 8 - Waiting for Windows 7 to finish crossing.
Android - Is rolling up the road.
The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.