HMRC (Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs) has issued a list of its ‘top ten’ excuses for not filing a tax return.

  1. My pet dog ate my tax return…and all the reminders.
  2. I was up a mountain in Wales, and couldn’t find a postbox or get an internet signal.
  3. I fell in with the wrong crowd.
  4. I’ve been travelling the world, trying to escape from a foreign intelligence agency.
  5. Barack Obama is in charge of my finances.
  6. I’ve been busy looking after a flock of escaped parrots and some fox cubs.
  7. A work colleague borrowed my tax return, to photocopy it, and didn’t give it back.
  8. I live in a camper van in a supermarket car park.
  9. My girlfriend’s pregnant.
  10. I was in Australia.