- Kidnappers are no longer interested in you.
- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
- People call at 9pm and ask “Did I wake you?”
- Things you buy now won’t wear out.
- You can eat dinner at 4pm.
- You can live without sex (but not without glasses).
- You have a party and the neighbours won’t even realise.
- You stop trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- You know all the words to the music played in elevators.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the weather forecast.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
Menu