- On physics: “The earth is gonna fall down one day. We have too many heavy things on it.”
- On space exploration: “Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain’t been back. It can’t have been that good.”
- On the film Gremlins: “What were those things in the film Gremlins called?”
- On looks: “In a way, you’re better off being the ugly one, and you get to look at nice things. You’re looking at the nicer-looking people. Doesn’t matter about being ugly. How often do you look at yourself anyway?”
- On anatomy: “I reckon we’d get by okay if we had lobster hands.”
- On the Great Wall of China: “It’s not a Great Wall. It’s an alright wall. It’s the Alright Wall of China.”
- On the great questions: “Does the brain control you, or are you controlling the brain?”
- On dolphins: “Dolphins can’t get out of the water and they can’t stay under it. And people say they’re bright.”
- On expectations: “I expect the worst, so when it happens I’m prepared. Isn’t that the right way to live? Why else do we all wear seat belts?
- On skiing: “Grow up. Stop messing about on hills.