The Genius that is Karl Pilkington – Part 2

  1. On his grievances: “What annoys me is how much land is being taken up by dead people.”
  2. On travelling: “You can be into travelling, but the world’s only so big, innit? So eventually you’re gonna run out of places to visit. Whereas biscuits… there’s loads of them.”
  3. On prayer: “That’s what praying is, really. A posh moan.”
  4. On stick insects: “Imagine being a stick insect, walking about, forvever going ‘Is that whatshisname?’ And you’d have to walk all the way up to the twig. ‘Oh no, it’s just a bloody twig again.’”
  5. On happiness: “Happiness is like a cake. Have too much of it – you get sick of it.”
  6. On convenience: “When anything’s done quickly it tends to be sort of shit. What’s done quickly that’s really good? Not much. Pot Noodle.”
  7. On jellyfish: “It’s 97% water or something. So, how much are they doing? Give ‘em another 3% and make ‘em water. That’s more useful.”
  8. On the pyramids: “It’s like a game of Jenga that’s got out of hand.”
  9. On the elderly: “You never see an old man having a Twix.”
  10. On dreams: “Your dreams should never be better than your real life. Unless you’re a sloth. Because then they’re asleep a lot, aren’t they?”
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