A man visits his GP (family doctor) and says, “Every time I go on holiday, my wife gets pregnant. Went to France and she got pregnant. Went to Ireland and she got pregnant a second time. Went to Spain and she got pregnant a third time.”
An art collector is walking through London looking for a Christmas present, when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a shop.
An English couple adopt a child from Germany, however, this should not be a problem. There is nothing to worry about as it's a healthy baby boy.
As the child grows older, he shows a preference for dressing in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, but there is nothing to worry about as all his basic functions develop normally. He can walk, eat, sleep, read and so on, but for some reason the German child never, ever speaks.
Best Day Ever Whilst sitting down for breakfast a woman says to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day it is today." The husband replies, "Of course I do darling. How could I ever forget?" The husband leaves for work and later that morning a dozen red roses are delivered. In the afternoon […]
Who discovered America? Teacher: Elinor please point to America on the globe. Elinor: It's here. Teacher: Well done. Now Little Johnny, who found America? LIttle Johnny: Elinor did. More English jokes here
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Golf Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm as she hangs on Bob's arm, listening intently to his every word and laughing at all his jokes.