On New Year's Eve, David was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his car in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police constable.
Here is a selection of "ghostly" jokes (click on Read More).
In promulgating your esoteric cogitations or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity.
A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.
Mr. Smith was a travelling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with brightly coloured ribbons and tape, so on one trip as he got to the luggage carousel he was very surprised to see his bags being grabbed by a well dressed man.
Teacher: "Johnny, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Johnny: "What do you think it is, sir?"