I am the very model of a modern major-general,
I've information vegetable, animal and mineral,
I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical,
From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem, I'm teeming with a lot o' news --

A lot o' news -- Got it!
*With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

Repeat*

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have.
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have.
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time,
But you were always on my mind.
You were always on my mind.

When the bells all ring and the horns all blow
And the couples we know are fondly kissing,
Will I be with you or will I be among the missing?

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping at your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Death was everywhere,
in the air
and in the sounds
coming off the mounds
of Bolton's Ridge.
Death's anchorage.

I wish that I could get up in the early morning time.
Things would fall out of the sky into my lap.
I wish I had the brain of a tyrannosaurus rex,
So that I wouldn't have to deal with all this crap.