1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.
3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)
5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot', which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on No. 7).
7. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying, "F-- YOU!"
8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to No. 4.
9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine".
Send this link to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
Send this link to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, because we know it's true!
(Thanks to James for sending me this.)
It's not a psych thesis on communicating between the sexes... it's a joke. I think the people who are taking this a little too seriously and getting their panties in a twist are the ones with the real problems.
I thought this was amusing, because in my last relationship, I found myself using some similar expressions. It wasn't out of a desire to be mysterious or confusing, but because the relationship wasn't very good, and it was simply easier to say something like these to end an argument/discussion that was going nowhere and just move on. Trying to communicate had failed enough times that I had stopped bothering, and I ended up sounding a lot like some of these words and "meanings." I can relate and see the humor here.
Fabulous!!
why are women so proud of this list.. you realize that when you say these things it is when men hate you the most..
Good grief!!!!
Have some of you not got a sense of humour!!!
I'm gobsmacked that you are taking this sooooo seriously!!
xx
I wouldn't call the difference in female communication a "game". Most of these become our means of communicating after we have tried to express a point repeatedly. Not that it's men's fault that they don't understand. We just communicate differently.
So that's the way they say F you? I generally hear the traditional. 🙂 Nice post.
This is stereotyping for comedy. It is meant to, and is, funny. Pointing out patterns in humans is funny, because we like to think of ourselves as fluid, and not robotic.
Stereotypes are not bad. Prejudice is. So stop being prejudice, and laugh, gosh darn it.
Come on, HUMOR? When has "I'm fine" ever been a good thing to hear, ever? It's funny. Learn to laugh. Otherwise, how are you going to get past the inevitable communication issues, whatever they are?
men have 2 emotions, hungry and horney! if he aint got an erection make him a sandwich
to the women saying "I wish my man communicated at all!"
It's not easy for us, okay? especially myself.
It's not a choice, I find that when someone wants me to explain what I'm feeling it is just BLANK and I don't know.
But these words are deliberately misleading.
Women can pick up on body language 10 times better than Men can, so we rely on the meaning of the words.
If you use these to communicate... grow up.
...You guys are ridiculous for actually arguing over this. It's funny. Take it at face value and relax a little. It'll be a favor for the rest of us.
I cant believe that there are so many people in the world who have such strong feelings about someone posting something on the internet. Anonymous... the one who said, "Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human." We would probably talk to men like humans if so many of them weren't so dense as this other Anonymous charachter who said "That's why women are only good as flesh sheaths for a man's love stick. They objectify themselves by being worthless." You sir, need to get a grip or else have fun playing with yourself for the rest of your life.
Communication is, like the perception it is based on, a depth unknown. Real communication doen't happen with words a lot because the perception of what eventually gets a point across can be mistaken to the very core. What gets a point across to me might not work for you and vice versa. That said, this was for fun, and people who don't find it so can go read things they find fun. To complain about this or assume things from it is like going to someone else's house, sniffing their toilet, and complaining the place stinks. If it wasn't fun for you, go find a site that is and stop bitching. There are so many other sites.....
[insert loud sigh here]
OMG It's either funny coz it's true or it isn't! Take.a. joke. *roll's eyes*
I don't really think it's "nine words women use" so much as it's "nine words passive-aggressive cowards use."
All of you who claim that this shows communication problems...get off the commenting and go COMMUNICATE with your wife. Really? I think this is downright hysterical. My college actually sold a T-Shirt with this list on it for the Vagina Monologues. It is supposed to be FUNNY. All of you men who think women are incapable of real conversation, or BS or whatever the hell else you said (I got angry reading about halfway down...), really? you think men are all that great? If our men can't figure out when we are angry...they deserve everything they get as a result of this list. We aren't that hard to figure out when we are pissed. At least I'm not....
9 more reasons to put the kiss of death on the idea of marriage if you are a guy.
This is ridiculous. People need to start learning to tell the truth, both women and men. Men should stop avoiding and women should stop manipulating.
unevolved and immature.
im a girl and i usually mean what the words mean when i say them.. maybe im weird but when i say the words guys automatically think i mean whats posted here... like i say thanks a lot and i mean thank you bunches but guys think im mad. yeah... if im mad i say it and usually it starts an argument but it ends faster because its all out in the open. guys never get hints.. just words.
Thanks for your honesty Sarah.
It's like the song - It ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it.
🙂
If I may, I'd like to add the following: When a woman says, "We need to talk", she really means, "You need to STFU and listen to what I have to say!"
Actually, "We need to talk" usually means - time to say "Goodbye".
🙂
Thank god not all females are this way, have to gag em just to tolerate there company.
Some of them are clearly traps women use on us men. 😛
I don't think we want to trap you, but communication is a two-way street and I think some women give up too early and retreat into this kind of communication. That said, it's still only a joke.
Sometimes they be crazy, check em out http://www.spmnd.com
Man...there's a lotta ANGRY people checking out this blog.
Well, your list is amusing. Women who use those words on your list are amusing as well. I've met a few of them and as far as I know, they are either still looking for a mate or have bedded down with some whipping boy.
Me? Ha! I live in Southeast Asia where an Asian woman is a REAL woman and respects her man.
-Jeeem-
this could have also been titled "How To Spot A Bitch" ... thats right, i said it. now waddle your fat ass out to the kitchen and make me a sammich"
bitch.
Wow, what happened to everyone's sense os humor? Laugh, people!
This is quite common even between 2 female friends. Although I'm a woman, I still dont get why my fellow women do that. This is what gets the men bored. Why would you want them to connect the dots all the time. Even when my female friends do it to me, its that irritating and they end up saying I'm insensitive at times but let's face facts... this is cliche; there is more to life than being that only person whose emotions and actions have to be understood and justified