1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.
3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)
5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot', which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on No. 7).
7. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying, "F-- YOU!"
8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to No. 4.
9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine".
Send this link to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
Send this link to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, because we know it's true!
(Thanks to James for sending me this.)
shut your computers off and go find a real person to have a relationship with!!!
If this is your own language, you need to learn that mean are not mind readers...get some backbone, ladies.
back to the kitchen after reading this
Nobody is exactly like anyone else. There are no hard and fast rules for people. Everything should be looked at on an individual basis, which is something most adults understand.
I just wanted to add that this is NOT under any circumstances "communication" when a woman (or man) uses any of these phrases. You can call it a mis-communicaton maybe, but i would call it mis-direction. If you engage in the use of any of these terms rather then talking through your problems you are dooming yourself to a bad relationship. If you are with someone who you cant let yourself communicate properly with dont kid yourself, you arent with the right person. move on. peace.
Well this is defiantly true for your average stuck up North American Girl thats for sure. I do like what Johnson said "This is why men beat their wives."
The first three replies by Palymama, Myrna and Your Teacher made my day. Great going, girls, you have just confirmed that you are stereotypical women; walking cliches, nothing more. Congratulations. Really, we don't care if "OMG! This is, like, SOOO like me!". We just feel sorry for your (future) boyfriend/husband and hope that we never have to suffer through the pain of meeting you in person.
"you know, women wouldn't have to get this way if men would only listen the 1st time and do as they are asked without screwing it up, I'm not perfect but I can follow directions and am smarter than almost every man i've ever worked with, and I mostly have worked jobs normally held by men, lumber yards, construction..."
You're precisely the kind of contemptible, neo-fem shrew that this list unintentionally bashes.
Why are you women so proud for being like this? It's hateful and rude.
I'm frightenend by the number of women who think it's perfectly alright to communicate this way, and giggle because it's "cute". Unless they're married to the perfect wimp, their relationships are in jeopardy.
Just to keep the playing field level, guys have their own set of communication errors which are just as threatening to a solid relationship.
Try open, honest communication instead: both parties. Watch your relationship move to the next level of intimacy and strength.
You stole some of this material
You can't forget the "if you want..." meaning if you don't do it she will make you feel guilty about it forever.
Really people? Come on...
I do this to my husband sometimes and it is not meant as mis-direction or something hateful. It's more about not wanting to tell him how I feel about the same thing over and over.
And I think any man that has been with the same woman for more than a couple years already knows exactly what she means when she sighs and when she says 'fine'.
I know my husband does. Because these ways of expression don't define our whole relationship. We still talk about how we feel and how we can work to make our marriage even better.
We just don't do that every day. Sometimes you're just to tired to argue over the laundry or how much tv he watches. Why say everything you've already said before, when you can get the same message through with a sigh?
Just my 2 cents. And I'm sure that others will now criticize my relationship and how we make things work in my house 😉
I've had it. im stealing and incorporating these into my vocab. bucking fitches won't know what hit em.
* This is why men beat their wives.
* Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies.
* All the women who said they aren't like this are full of shit.
and the Pig Prize goes to:
* That's why women are only good as flesh sheaths for a man's love stick. They objectify themselves by being worthless.
And now go and be ashamed of yourself!
Just laugh. Why would you bother yourself and other by those negative comments. There are always reasons. It made me laugh too. 🙂
Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. It doesn't matter if you win, your still retarded.
This list is an example of why when asked by my nephew for advise about life (I think it was a school project), I told him, "Always keep your relationships with women on a strictly cash basis."
Yup. I occassionaly use these words. In my experience men aren't great at expressing themselves. My guy is not a "talker". Women know what I mean by this, I think.
Maybe we've created shortcuts to accomodate the men in our lives. Or, maybe to accomodate ourselves. Who knows & with respect, who really cares. In the big picture we will either work it out or not.
I may be the only woman who doesn't do this. I actually speak my mind when there is a problem. I find it makes my relationships much easier.
I can say this is quite true. If my ex would have had this decoder, things may have turned out very differently.
I know that there is in fact a "language barrier" between men and women, and this list is in my opinion, a potential best selling paper-back titled "Women for DUMMIES"
I only say these things when I'm being sarcastic and joking around. Otherwise, the real meanings seem to work so much better in not letting all hell break loose.
The list was funny, but the comments were funnier.
"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. It doesn't matter if you win, your still retarded."
Also, lol @ this.
So I swear I went to read this thinking, "I bet no real woman would actually say these things." and it turns out I say all of them. ;D Men go easy on us, half the time we barely realize it (I know I don't). It's just the female way.
"you know, women wouldn't have to get this way if men would only listen the 1st time and do as they are asked without screwing it up, I'm not perfect but I can follow directions and am smarter than almost every man i've ever worked with, and I mostly have worked jobs normally held by men, lumber yards, construction..."
You know, relationships are supposed to be give and take. Maybe the men aren't screwing up, just doing it differently than you would. And just because everything isn't getting done exactly on your schedule doesn't mean it's not getting done. And most men try to say what they mean, and aren't always in tune to 'body language' and that's the way they expect people to communicate with them. It seems what we have here is a case of miscommunication.
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wow. very well defined. yeah, you may think women aren't that complicated. some really aren't. some REALLY are.
it depends on the woman.
so really, it's useless if you try to express your disagreement... we all know this seriously applies to some female in our life.
People realize that this is supposed to be funny, and it does that by taking a nugget of truth and exploiting a stereotype. Relax, enjoy, take like it was meant to be read. Not like so decleration of absolute truth. lol, if you cant enjoy the humor and are too serious, step back and ask yourself what happened to my sense of humor? Enjoy the rest of your day!
I'm shocked, what kind of women are living on this planet's surface!
And some are not ashamed to post this here!
If you don't behave yourself like humans, you don't need to be surprised, if you won't treated like humans!
Great stuff LOL
...and people have asked me why I'm gay...
W00T my LOLZ haz a cheezburger has bean 2 PHOTOSHOPED! N00BS ROLF THIS IS THE END OF INRNETZ111 I AM SOMEHOW PESONALY INVOLVED IN THIS STORY/THREAD/PicTuRE111
Oh my freaking God! You must be married to my wife too! Not that I'm going to try arguing about it with her....
http://fullonredfrog.com - The underbelly of Fatherhood in Suburbia
Seems as though a lot people have no sense of humor. Jeez.
Absolutely Funny Stuff!!!
Oh geez. Men, if your wife/gf verbalized every thought or request they had to you completely and directly, you couldn't handle it. Women have more complex thought processes than you men. We're wired to consider the emotional, relational, consequential, financial, etc. nuances of everything that happens in a day! You don't want to hear it, you can't handle it, and that's why we SIGH!! (And that's why I'm single by choice. Step up, men.)
""""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for super truth""
Triple quoted for the divine truth."
Quadruple quoted for cosmic truth"
C-c-c-c-combo Breaker!!! (But still true.)
lol. This is entertaining to read. And I'm not talking about the article. It's amazing how people can get in huff and puff over something so simple. Something they're not likely to remember in few minutes after moving to a new page.
Advice for the day: "Don't take life to seriously, you never get out of it alive" (so many people have been quoted by this so I don't know who to give the honors to.)
Good day everyone. Have a good laugh today.
This isn't entirely true, but ultimately hilarious to a fellow female. I do use such words myself, but not in such context, although if you do cross me you are bound to get a lashing (I learned this art from my mother). However, over all, I am pretty much the same in every corner of me, so...
Just remember not all of us follow the stereotype of women being all too moody.
I am not offended by this page of words, as some of you who commented happen to have done.
My message is, learn to laugh, you insane feminists. I may be a girl, but I absolutely hate feminists. Especially those of you who ended up eMailing this author and tore him to pieces, mainly just reiterating how moody "womankind" is.
Please, take offense to this comment if you are an insane feminist.
""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for double-truth
"""Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth"
Double quoted for super truth""
Triple quoted for the divine truth."
Quadruple quoted for cosmic truth
Quoted for awesomeness
"Must be horrible to be married to you sanctimonious harpies, then. I prefer a woman who doesn't play BS games and communicates with me like I'm a human."
Quoted for truth
Quoted for awesomeness
Thank the sweet lord in heaven I'm gay. Reading this actually made me realize just how sexist I was.
Way to avoid problems and manipulate men with constant lies and self-righteousness.
"Why are you crying?" "I don't know!" "Then knock it off." "But I can't!" "Whatever." "Don't you 'whatever' me!" Then the lamp leaves the nightstand and hits the wall and it's all downhill from there.
You people are retarded. Men are dumb and chicks are crazy. We all know that. If you women want to be really pissed off got to http://slimspickin.blogspot.com/ or http://tastym.blogspot.com/ and you will see what men are capable of (strange but true).
@Crevan - What are you talking about? A lot of gay men are just like that too LOL.
this is only valid if youre a woman, and we all know that if youre a woman you originally came with ovaries. and if you came equipped with ovaries, you are already wrong. therefore, this is all wrong. deal with it...
52684"Women have more complex thought processes than you men. [...] (And that's why I'm single by choice.)"
Or maybe you're single because you're such a dysfunctional human being, with such a delusional superiority complex, that no normal, caring, socially well-adjusted man could ever relate to you, or even tolerate your presence. But hey, just keep telling yourself it's by choice. You may die alone, but it's only because no one else could ever reach your level of perfection right?
tl;dr: Stay that way.
This is just bad communication. Perhaps the women who sympathize with this list should work on their interpersonal skills.
That is more than nine words, in fact it's twice as many if you count "A Loud Sigh" as a word.
See, this scares me a little bit that someone thought this was lighthearted. I personally think it's poor taste for a public website, maybe for personal banter with your friends that can see past the fact that this stuff is bullshit. It's along the same lines as making a list of "Why all Indians in America work at convenience stores" and adding things like "Where else are they going to rip you off?" While it's true that some people do, and i've had it happen before, that DOESN'T make in universal, much less ANYTHING to be proud of.
First off, after reflecting on this I realized how lucky I am to have a woman in my life that actually communicates. It takes effort on a guy's part to actually do so, but you skip the landmine tango that f*ed communication is.
I'm tired of the BS logic that makes women think stuff like this is ok. Just because we can get thrown in prison for chucking you across the room after you do shit like this to us guys doesn't mean that we don't deal with the same amount of emotional and mental bullsh*t by not being able to trust the people that are supposed to be closest to us.
DO NOT come crying to your friends if someone breaks up with you because you talk to him like he's a f*cking dog that can't understand what you're saying. You'd be surprised. Furthermore, don't think that we aren't capable of understanding your lack of a language: I can understand it, and i know alot of men that can. But it's about RESPECT. If you want it, give it. If you want something to be understood, make sure it's in a way that make sense to them.
And i'm still pissed off at that woman that said that if females said everything that was on thier minds we "wouldn't be able to handle it". That's the definition of CARING. If a guy actually gives a shit about you, he wants to know how your mind works and what you're thinking about. Don't try and beat around the bush, speak english to express your thoughts, guys chill out and listen if she's actually talking to you, and WOMEN STOP TRYING TO THINK WE'RE OXEN, OR WE'LL DO WHAT OXEN DO: SH*T ON YOUR PARADE, MESS UP YOUR HOUSE, GET PISSED OFF, AND PROBABLY HURT SOMETHING.